Living on purpose: the possibilities and pitfalls

CHAPTER 54

Living your purpose can bring both joy and pain. Live on purpose anyways.

Hello my friends, welcome to Chapter 54 of Sanguine Stories. This month we’re exploring the final Sanguine Element: #11 – how to expand out, to be citizens of the earth, to create more oneness in the world. And in this podcast, we’ll also be touching on Sanguine Element #9 – Living your purpose – as the two really go hand in hand. Living on purpose often means that you’re also doing some kind of good – for yourself, for others near and far and even perhaps for our planet.

While living with purpose does have its intentions based in doing good, expanding out…speaking up… it also has its challenges. One of them being: showing up, putting yourself out there and sharing your thoughts, beliefs and in turn, expertise and offerings, it can misconstrued. It can be scary. Being vulnerable IS scary.

A few months ago, an author I follow created a new self-help program, put it out into the world and we all watched as she and the program, came under fire.

As an outsider looking in, it was a mess. A really ugly mess. On all sides.

Some of the posts and comments were deleted before I could read them but I did seek out what I could find around the internet, in order to understand all sides.

She was called a racist, that she needs to work out her white supremacy issues, that her white privilege was showing through, that she needed to heal her ancestral wounds. Her followers who stood up for her then were bullied and shamed as well.

As someone who offers self-help myself, I wanted to learn what I could from the debacle so as to be more sensitive in my own coaching and programs.

THE CHALLENGE OF SPEAKING UP AND LIVING ON PURPOSE

I love the online world, I love what Facebook and blogs and online news centers have created, making a large world much smaller and more connected.

But it is also a scary place. Speaking about my own content that I share like emails, blogs, social media posts… they lack tone. They can all be misunderstood. Even my podcasts, in which you can hear my voice, can be misconstrued.

Last week I shared how the words we use are so important, even if we often don’t give them much credit or think too deeply about their impact.

I mindfully choose my words because my purpose is to create more harmony in the world. And I know that words can heal or harm. But that doesn’t mean something I might say could be taken the wrong way.

This author’s purpose is similar to mine – to help people live more intentional lives, to show up as your best self possible. To live on purpose. She definitely made some missteps. But she is also human.

In one of her follow up posts, she said she felt attacked and honestly, I can see how she’d feel like that. Because her life’s purpose is to do no harm. To heal. Just like mine. Yet people even yelled at her for using the word “attack”. Saying she wasn’t allowed to use a word like “attack”.

It doesn’t require a fist, knife or gun to feel attacked. We can attack people with our words as well. In person and virtually. We can attack people mentally and emotionally. Sticks and stones do break bones… but words hurt, too.

And that’s why it’s so scary to use our voices, to put ourselves out there. Especially when our purpose is such a huge part of our life. Of who we are. Of what we do.

I’m all for people speaking up and helping me and others understand what they’ve been through and are going through. But I would ask that the same courtesy and respect be extended to me. And others. Putting people in a position where they’re afraid to speak up or to ask questions, for fear of being reprimanded, bullied or shamed, it doesn’t help anyone.

MOVING FORWARD

We are all on a path that is always unfolding and there is much we don’t know – about ourselves, each other and our world. We must be open to learning and growing and transforming. To speaking and listening, using words that invoke connection and kindness, not violence or hate.

The more we can sincerely communicate and deepen our understanding of both ourselves and others, the more compassionate, open-minded and lovingkind we can be. Towards all.

One of my core beliefs is to be present. It’s why in my coaching work and online programs, I offer very little support when it comes to working with your past. Because we can’t change it.

Acknowledge it and be here now, with what is, in this moment. Let it go and let’s figure out together how you can move forward.

We can’t move forward if we’re always looking backwards. And in this situation and others like it, we can’t help others do it if we’re yelling at people because of something they did in the past, or something that they didn’t understand, or something that their ancestors did.

History does have much to teach us. And it can repeat itself. But once we’ve learned the lesson, we need to move on and forward, for the benefit of all.

We must also remember that unfortunately there will always be ignorance and hate in the world. Not everyone will be on the same page with you…

Choose to stand up, speak out, and live on purpose anyways.

Share the love…

I’d love to hear from you… Have you had to manage naysayers in your life? Either personally or professionally? g

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chrissy gruningerChrissy Gruninger is an author and mindset coach. She mentors people on how to live their ONE beautiful life, wherever they may be. Her latest book, Lost and Found in the Land of Mañana explores her life in Costa Rica and both the challenges of working and living abroad as well as the beautiful life we can create from those experiences.

She loves her rainforest beach shack in Costa Rica, the sunshine and the rain and passionately believes that through intentional actions we create more happiness, health and harmony in the world. 

Her goal: to empower others to thrive in an imperfect world.